"Lifting taught me how to shift my focus towards seeing my body as a vessel with purpose." - Aubrey
"I was a competitive swimmer from age 10-17. I was relatively small, but traditional Asian beauty standards led me to believe I was bigger than I was. After discontinuing swimming and gaining weight in college, it was difficult to find a “purpose” for my body. Without a sport, the validity of my body became unhealthily tied to the beauty standards that were forced upon me.
Then I found powerlifting. Because of this sport, I can say “I squat and deadlift over 300 pounds” in response to any negative comments about my body. Who cares how my thighs look if I can snowboard all the way down the mountain without taking a break? And even though I’ve been out of practice for years, I can still swim 500m without stopping. Lifting taught me how to shift my focus towards seeing my body as a vessel with purpose. To allow my body to just… be. All I want is to be strong enough to do the sports I love: swimming, lifting, and snowboarding. To allow my body to change, grow, or shrink so I can do more of what makes me happy.
As a masters biochemistry student and (soon to be) veterinary student, education/work/life balance is something I struggle with daily. I constantly remind myself that it’s okay to lean into both sides of the “fit” and the “fat.” These sports will always be here for me. I’m not a failure if fitness takes a temporary back seat when life gets wild. It’s also okay to shift my focus to the “fit” side too, like when I get ready for cosplay conventions and photoshoots. I keep myself grounded and do my best to avoid tying my self worth to the completion of those aesthetic goals.
My name is Aubrey. I’m an athlete, cosplayer, biochemist, and a veterinarian-in-progress. I will never turn down a chicken wing. My ability to binge watch anime is a force to be reckoned with. And I am proud to be Kinda Fit, Kinda Fat. ❤"
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